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Today is my birthday!
You might be thinking, “Okay, judging by the post title, I thought this was going to be about her wedding day or the day her son was born…something along those lines!” While those were definitely amazing benchmarks in my life thus far, I was recently inspired by the lyrics of a song today that made me wonder,
why shouldn’t EVERYDAY be the BEST day of your life?!
The nights have slowly been getting longer (Thank God) and this nutty year is coming to an end. Now that you are starting to get the hang of things as a BrandNewMom, why not set some personal goals for 2015?
Well, there are only a handful of hours left of what has been a whirlwind of a year! I vaguely remember saying to myself this time last year that I wasn’t going to make any specific New Years resolutions. There was rather more of a reeling desperation to once again get a good nights sleep and sense of normality in mine and my husbands’ lives. You see, my little boy was born Dec 11, 2014 and since then, we have only just begun to get more than 3 consecutive hours sleep. But I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir and all you Brandnewmom’s know what I’m talking about!
(photo credit Diemstudiosinc)
Unless you get pregnant on the first “try”, there’s a good possibility you and your partner are in for an emotional roller-coaster ride. Fasten your safety belts because it WILL be a bumpy ride! TTC can be a tumultuous time in your relationship or marriage.
*Tip of the day* Ovulation and pregnancy tests from the drug stores can get expensive. Thankfully we found out early on that none other than the good ol dollar store carries them!
Elation, Anxiety or disappointment?
So you have made the decision to TTC and are so happy to bring a little one into your lives? You research the best timing in your cycle, you DTD (do the deed) and anxiously await the results. You pee on the stick, embrace each other tightly and stare for the next few minutes for that positive sign to appear. If it does, you are crying tears of joy! However if that is not the case, all of a sudden you cry tears of disappointment, worry, sadness, insecurity or inadequacy. We felt jealousy when we would see teenagers and other parents happily pushing their buggies. On top of all those emotions, DTD soon became a chore and lost its lustre.
(photo credit Diemstudiosinc)
Although it seems like an eternity, my husband and I have been together for 3.5 years. We fell in love at first sight and knew we would spend the rest of our lives together. But what waslove to us? How did it differ this time from other “loves” in the past? How would this “love” last? To me, as an upwards of 50% of marriages these days end up in divorce, searching for what propels the other 50% to not only last, but thrive was imperative.
Growing up, I had what many young women had…a fairy tale dream of what life would ultimately be like. One day I would find a wonderful husband, have an impermeable marriage, and beautiful family. But after a few failed relationships and a seeking heart, I wondered if that dream only existed in my conjured Utopia. Feeling hopeless and only after exhausting all other options, did I pray.
I soon realized that my past longterm relationships were my attempt to subconsciously force that fairy tale ideal into fruition. Or worse, blissfully yet dangerously, ignore the warning signs or lack of the natural qualities/ values/ belief system that jived with mine. What I thought was love, was the farthest thing from it.
(photo credit Diemstudiosinc)
After being primed to understand what love certainly was not, its’ true definition was, at last, presented to me in the form of my husband. (Awwwwwe:) He was not Mr. Dream or Mr. Perfect like the fairy tale I had envisioned. He was, afterall, human just like me and soulfully flawed. However, there exists a presence of immaterial, unspeakable, unmatched connection for one another and a joint understanding of what love would be to us.
A stale, stagnant or dissolving state is what many marriages fall victim to. Our belief and foundation of what love truly looks like comes from the Bible, (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) and was by no mistake spoken at our wedding ceremony. While many can recite this verse from memory, after its initial utterance, it is soon forgotten or worse signifigance is lost as a modern day colloquilaism. We decided together that the survival of this love requires the watchful eye from the heavens above and the willingness, on both our parts, to continually examine, nurture and grow together.
(photo credit Diemstudiosinc)
So far, our young marriage has been the most challenging yet rewarding and eye-opening time in our lives. We have already learned so much about each other as individuals and as a couple and our faith grows stronger. Through it all, it all comes back to the root of it all, love.
I took the time to write this is because perhaps this may be somewhat of a revelation, cause for deeper relational introspection or hopefully ring true to your marriage/partnership before becoming a Brand New Mom.
So what is love to you and your partner?